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You Lied on Your Resume and Claimed to Be an Expert at Inventory Control for Pneumatic Indicators, Air Timers, pneumatic controls, and of Course, Every Type of Pneumatic Controls System

By Phil Anderson
June, 12th 2013

Hey, it’s tough to get a job these days, and since everybody else lies like a rug on their resume, you thought you’d do the same. There was an opening at a company that sells pneumatic controls, and a top of the line pneumatic controls system – among numerous other air-power products, and they needed an expert who could handle their inventory control. The job offered a really high salary and full benefits, so what the heck. How hard could it be to keep track of pneumatic controls or a pneumatic controls system (whatever the heck ‘they’ are)? As it turns out, a lot of the work had to be done on a computer, and since you can barely get online with your dialup AOL Online (it is pretty complicated), you thought you might be stuck. Okay, so you had been able to fake it for the first day, meeting all the fine folks who ran the company that sells pneumatic control and the leading pneumatic controls system, but then it was time to get to work.

You ‘Accidently’ Spilled Your Coffee on Your Computer, So You made it Through Your Second Day as an Expert at Keeping Track of pneumatic controls and that Darned Pneumatic Controls System

The bosses were none too impressed that you had wrecked one of their computers your first day on the job, but you said you’d go out to the warehouse and count all those pneumatic controls and everything else, and then write it all down in a spiral notebook until the computer had been replaced. After all, any idiot can manually count a pneumatic controls system inventory and then just jot the numbers down. Man, they were going to pay you a darned good salary, and AOL dialup was going to teach you everything there was to know about pneumatic controls and that darned pneumatic controls system everybody was so concerned about.

pneumatic timers - It Takes a While to Learn about pneumatic valves and a Sophisticated Pneumatic Controls System When You Only Have Dialup Service at Home

Man, how long was it going to ‘take’ to load that one lousy page on pneumatic control, and even then, how were you going to learn how to do ‘inventory control’ on that darned pneumatic controls system overnight? Now you’re wondering what you could accidently spill on your new computer. Maybe the bosses would let you go out to the warehouse and count all those pneumatic controls, pneumatic timer by hand (nobody had agreed to any of that so they sent you home early). Man, you need that job and all those benefits, so ‘come on AOL dialup’ GET MOVING. In the end, nobody was buying your story about being an expert on pneumatic controls and other air-powered products ‘inventory control’ and they ‘sent you packing’. Time to get started on that new ‘rocket scientist’ resume for sure!